You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July, 2008.
I feel like I’m under the influence of some really bad planets right now.
A month and a half ago, I quit my old job because I was offered something really interesting in a yoga studio. I love the fact that it was in yoga, that I would also be teaching there, that it was close to home, close to daycare, and with people I’ve known and practiced yoga for years.
Last Monday, I was informed that the owners of the studio reconsidered their offer. For a bunch of reasons, some of which seemed rather weak to me.
So here it is: my maternity leave ends in one week, and I am jobless.
Freaking out (but still doing everything the situation requires).
Thank god I have Baby A. to keep me grounded.
Here are a few more recent pictures of my little flower.
Hmm… Raspberries
Having fun with mommy
Bathing in Cheerios
Baby A. and mommy doing yoga
Cool bandana
Look at the onesie my daddy got me!
It’s been a long time. I’ve been busy. With lots of fun stuff… and some of the crap life also throws at you once in a while.
I’m doing good. I quit my job in advertising, and I’ll be doing comms and PR for my yoga studio, on top of teaching yoga. It’s great. I’m really excited about that.
Baby A. is doing wonderfully well. She is such an amazing little girl, I still can’t believe how blessed we are that she chose Dutchboy and I to be her parents. She eats by herself (doesn’t want to be fed with a spoon anymore at all), crawls at an amazing speed, and she’s starting to experiment with stairs. She is such a sweet, wonderful little person already.
However, I seem to have lost — or to be on the edge of losing — the person whom, next to my daughter is the most important in the world to me. I don’t know what happened, or how it happened, I just know that it hurts a fucking lot. I’m trying to let go. Of him. Of the situation. Of my feelings. Because life goes on and I have to be there for my little girl. And because there is nothing I can do right now to fix things. I can only hope, and wait. But my heart is crying, and my body’s experiencing the pain.
Thank god I have my yoga mat, where I feel a little bit more at peace, whether I’m teaching or practicing, and wonderful Baby A., who makes me laugh through my tears.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.
I hope with all of my heart and soul that eventually I am welcomed back into the only home I want.
